Thank you, Bill! It took me a hell of a lot longer than a couple hours, but using these directions and a little creativity I was able to pull my first engine over the weekend from the local yard. I ended up getting it out of a 2001 Buick LeSabre, so I'm sure I'll have some stuff to swap over, but it was amazingly satisfying to pull my own engine. Not to mention absurdly inexpensive...

Next up will be removing the bad engine from my car, and I'll be using these instructions and documenting that process very carefully, hopefully to turn this into a walkthrough with pictures showing where all the bolts and stuff are, exactly. Look for that to come in the next few weeks, when I can get back to this.

Once again - thanks to everyone who has provided information on this board! I couldn't have done this without you.