sounds like you have a few things happening.

http://www.tripleedgeperformance.com...cillation.html
This generally happens when the valve body has excess wear in the TCC regulated apply valve area but also has other causes. Excessive fluid leakage in this area of the valve body causes TCC apply pressure loss and can lead to uncontrollable TCC operation which causes the engine rpm to bounce up and down a bit. This problem is noticed most after driving a while and speeds between 42 and 70mph and in 4th gear.
http://www.tripleedgeperformance.com...ward-Cold.html
One of the most common problems I have found after the milege gets over roughly 60K miles. The scenario.... You are driving in traffic for a while OR your car has sat for a while and is a cold startup. You put the car in Drive range and it wont move, or if driving you come up to a stop light and in heavy traffic and the light turns green and SUPRISE!!! You are holding up traffic with a car that wont go anywhere. The most common cause of this problem is a worn out inner surface of the Input clutch piston.
When you disconnect the battery the PCM loses its adaptive shift knowledge and will shift harshly until it "learns" from your driving habits.

The startup issue could be a dirty IAC pintle, dirty MAF sensor, or vacuum leak.