I went to go pull the crank pulley off with the puller, and the f*cking thing doesn't want to budge. I stripped the main bolt on the puller. What the hell is going on? My god.
sounds like you destroyed the keyway. the pulley should come right off if it's been off recently with the right puller. the only reason it would be stuck is if you smashed the key in there and it is stuck.