How about; "Do you realize that in the time we had to spend on your unruliness we could have finished that customer and you and you could have been half way home by now." Or "Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the floor this morning?" or (to another employee) "Careful I don't know if he has been wormed yet" or "Just keep talking so I'll know what you're not thinking." and my favorite "Sir whats the matter, did your dad not play ball with you enough when you were a child or does your wife were the pants in the family at home so you feel you have to be the center of attention or were you just born an ass." and last but not least "I am trying to help you but you won't stop long enough for me to do that so lets start over and if not, Hell the last assualt charge wasn't so bad and I learned a whole lot of things in prison so I won't get caught again."
