Spoiler alert: The following will probably offend the vast majority of the human population. I don't sugarcoat what I observe and know so as to not "hurt someone's feelings". So if any of you are the sort that can't handle an unorthodox perspective that will most likely offend the mainstream point of view, please just stop reading here.
For years, I've tried to find a way to sum up the basis of most relationships. I finally came across some interesting quotes that hit the nail on the head, including, of all places, a line from Sex in the City I heard a while back while flipping channels. "Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion." Also, before that, a Pink Floyd lyric made quite the statement. "Was it love, or was it the IDEA of BEING in love?" This pretty much says at all. Now before everyone gets all hot and bothered, and goes off on a rant to claim they don't fall into this category, slow down and think about it.
"True love" is just one of the many pieces to what I refer to as "the Matrix programming" we are indoctrinated with from birth. We are taught this fallacy of "true love" almost immediately. We are taught that there is something wrong with you if you don't find your true love, that you must have a b/f or g/f to validate your existence, that there is someone special out there just meant to be with you, and you must find this person. There needs to be someone you can grow old with so that you won't wind up alone/by yourself when you get up there in age. To many, this becomes the most important thing in life, as they don't want to be grilled everyday by parents, family members, co-workers, friends, etc. on why they haven't "found someone yet", a problem that gets worse as you get older.
Unfortunately, this pressure often leads people to making grave mistakes in who they decide to "be with". All too often, we'll share a..."bonding moment" or two with someone, and mistake that for "wow....I think there's something there with this person". We create a relationship out of this, and even when evidence starts pointing to the fact that this relationship will not work out, we ignore them. After all....we're "in love". And isn't love supposed to take a lot of work? So it's only normal if you fight often, or don't get along all that well.
No. That's not "trying to make love work". That's 2 incompatible people FORCING a relationship out of something that's not there, merely based on/because of a couple "tender" moments that they share. Somehow, this eradicates all the bad, or signs that a long-term partnership with this person isn't going to be possible. Sure, no relationship can ever be perfect. But that is very different than continuing a train wreck of a relationship just for the sake of fulfilling that need for "love", or to be loved by someone.
Now I'm sure most of you will look upon this as negativism, or being over the top. My intention is not to be a pessimist. I'm merely outlining what I've observed in almost every relationship (couples AND spouses) I've had the opportunity to be around (friends, family, co-workers, etc). Think about it. Out of the billions upon billions of people on this planet, how realistic is it that the one person meant for you, your one true love, your soul mate, happens to live down the street, or a town over, or goes to your school, or works with you, etc? Yet, we're so sure we're in love with so many people throughout our lifetimes.
Is it not more plausible to presume you're conning yourself into thinking you're in love because you'd love to BE in love, and be in a relationship with someone? Someone you get to see and be with frequently to fulfill your need for love? Is it not more plausible that most relationships are based on mutually agreeing about this delusion in order to keep this happy bliss going?
Originally Posted by RareGMFan
