Unruly, or just no respect?

[Vespers47]

I wanna know your opinion...

So, its about 20 minutes before my girl starts class... So... I have a sit down, and notice shes texting someone. (just so happens to be this one guy I hate more than any Hajii mofo...) SO... I ask her to stop, so I can talk to her... She basically continues for the next 5 minutes. Once again, I ask her to stop... and she continues... now, shes got about less than 15 minutes before class, so I get ticked off and attempt to take the phone away for a few, so I can say what I wanna say.

Still with me? Good. Here is where it gets interesting...
I wanna know what you would do if this situation presented itself to you...

So. I text the guy whos texting her, and said "shes busy. She'll text you later." and he has the fu***ing NERVE to tell me... and I QUOTE, "k. as soon as SHE says "im bz ttyl" or somethin close to that."


"ARE YOU FRIGGIN NUTS?!?! or just smoking chicken ****?!?!" I said out loud in the library, so everyone stopped and stared at me. "Do you REALLY wanna piss off a Recon trained Marine?"

---Lil background info on this guy... He's the kind of guy that will try to be a "good friend" to your girl, so he can slip in under the radar and try to spit some "game" to drop her in his "pocket" so he can mack on YOUR girl, and place her like a trophy on his "mantle", if you get my drift... He's one of the sneaky "just friend" types...and yes, he's tried to previously get with her, after he dated her friend, and KNEW I was this chicks man... He STILL tried to slither in, and openly admitted it only after we BOTH (my girl and I) caught him trying to sneak on in between us... my girl now feels as though he's "changed" but he's still the same slim ball to me, just a different coat of slime on this time.---

(Just wondering what someone else would do in this situation. No Cars were involved (although he thinks Pontiacs suck... We'll leave that for another day, so he'll see how much they suck when he crosses the street and my bumper is wearing his teeth), and no guns were involved (although you have no IDEA how badly I wanted to change THAT fact...)

Just wondering what you guys woulda done in this situation... Keep in mind, this is wifey... we been together going on 2 happy and very wonderful years now...

Pics in my profile of her...

[Merlin]

I think the problem lies with your girl. You need to Calmly inform her how you feel about the subject and get her to break it off with him.

After that dosent work, well.... Thats why we all have friends. The ones that will go and visit him. Particularly ones that he has "played his game" with before.

[FoSHO99]

Sounds like she's talking to him about problems she's having with you. So right now he thinks he's in like flint and he's trying to light a spark to get you and her to fall apart from eachother or argue like u might have already over this. Either fight back by telling your wife this guy is a problem or making this guy out to be a loser who texts married woman like he really is, or do a little recon and get to know your enemy...

Set up a time where you can all go somewhere together, be a gentlemen, be patient and wait for him to mess up again. Set him up with a girl you know will not put out but is flirty, or maybe even a slut and see what shakes. Either way this guy wants to be sneaky about it, he'll be on the edge when you ask him to all go out together and either realize your wife is untouchable or mess up.

[evol207girl]

^ I agree totally. Personally I've been in that situation but flipped and it was no fun. Sometimes they have to see that they aren't good ppl before they realize the "friendship" needs to stop. At least she's not hiding it from you tho. I'd sit her down and say "Listen how would you feel about this if the situation were flipped and it was me talking to a girl you didn't trust?" Maybe if you put it in that perspective she'll understand. As for him the more you let him know he can get to you the more he'll probably try to bug you. That's how it was in my situation at least. ppl like that feed off of drama. That's just my opinion and advice Hope it helps

[kingd44]

kill him................ and if she gets mad then break up with her...

[BADAZGTP]

All theis is good advice. Get someone that he doesn't know your friends with to hang out for a while. Then they can start asking questions about your girl of how he feels about her and stuff like that. Throw in some alcohol, and he's sure to spill the beans and there you go.

[TDCRacing]

LOL at Terry

[gotboost]

im going into the marines as well man, im sorry to hear that though, i would stay calm about it, dont get really mad but talk to her in a presenting manner that shows you care, if ya get what im saying

[SlowM90]

wow....lol. All I know is I was with my now x-hubby for over 5years. My best friend was James....everytime me and Craig had a problem I ran to James. He never "hit" on me but he WAS always there telling me I could do WAY better and blah blah. In 2006 I left my x-hubby for James! I then later found out James was crazy stalkerish person and left him in Sept!!!! Soooooooo ya they might can be "just friends" but girls CRAVE love/affection. If she thinks your messin up and she tells him and he agrees....thats not good! Believe me! I was madly in love with my x-hubby he left me SO many times and I took him back. All it took was someone to tell me over and over again I need better and then they threw the whole "If your not happy your kid wont be happy" sooo...Im not sayin your girl is going to cheat cause ya never know! But I do know I never thought I would cheat on my x-hubby....So Ya If I was you I would sit her down and tell her how you truly feel. if she laughs or seems not care....its not going to get better...believe me.

[Vespers47]

Sounds like she's talking to him about problems she's having with you. So right now he thinks he's in like flint and he's trying to light a spark to get you and her to fall apart from eachother or argue like u might have already over this. Either fight back by telling your wife this guy is a problem or making this guy out to be a loser who texts married woman like he really is, or do a little recon and get to know your enemy...

Set up a time where you can all go somewhere together, be a gentlemen, be patient and wait for him to mess up again. Set him up with a girl you know will not put out but is flirty, or maybe even a slut and see what shakes. Either way this guy wants to be sneaky about it, he'll be on the edge when you ask him to all go out together and either realize your wife is untouchable or mess up.

^^Well, I've tried many of these things before... and its REALLY beginning to frustrate me... Back in September, he was dating her best friend, and they broke up... (she was shallow and thought this guy was ugly)... and so thats when he started to hit on MY girl, because she would always be there for him when he needed advice. Its funny how he's always "around" when she needs "advice", and Its kinda annoying because I used to be the advice guy, and its not like I don't have the free time to give her the advice, and its not like she doesn't have a way to contact me (she used to complain.. "Your always at work" or my favorite, "You {or I} NEVER have any minutes...") but its funny how at those same times when I had no minutes... I would meet up with her after her first class, and she'd be on the phone with that asswipe... I've said to her... "Ya know, what if there was a girl doing that with me.. how would you feel?" I've sat her down and talked to her about it. I've even had "pure steel" in the GUYS face about it. {and woulda shot the f**ker if my girl didn't stop me}, For a few months she stopped talking to him, and everything was GREAT... but it seems as though he's EASED back into his old position, but this time he knows he's walking on egg shells and trys to make me out to be the bad guy when i notice his subtle come ons.... For Example. This morning, I meet my girl at the student union computer area. Of ALL the computers in my school, as we're leaving about 5 minutes after I arrive, he shows up because he "mysteriously" has "health homework" he didn't do... when, mind you, my girl was on the phone with this f**khead the night before... when he was doing "hw" then. This didn't sit right with me, and ended up with him coming up to me while she was in the bathroom, I got pissed, when I SPECIFICALLY told her yesterday, "I DON'T want him around ME. Next time I see him, im playing wack a mole with the pimples on his face!" AhSo... to prevent getting expelled as our school has taken up a pretty strict stance against violence since Virginia Tech... I let him go...... "THIS TIME"..... KNOWING HIM... There'll be other chances for me to cream this c*nt... seriously...

I'm about 1 day away from just whippin out a ratchet and just rippin the f**kers head off, splittin his wig, and giving him a haircut... Lupara style... I'm really at the end of my fuse with this...

My brother in law told me to not worry about it... don't fight for pu**y... etc... just let it ride, and if she strays then she wasn't for me... but me... as I previously said, im a Marine... I fight for my food... im a true devil dog. I'm like the streets, you gotta look both ways before you cross me...or you'll become "road kill", period.

So... I really got NO CLUE what to do with this...

Its kinda like playing Double Dutch... You gotta know the right moment to jump in and skip... or you'll screw up the entire rhythm of everything...

This is why I LOVE the policy shoot first, ask questions later. better to be safe than sorry..

P.S.- Thx for the advice all... any more would certainly help.. I'm wondering if there's anything I can try that I've missed previously.

Ah! I feel better now. =]

[SyntheticShield]

Oh boy

I think, from my own perspective, there are several issues here. And for those of you that know me, well its long post time, LOL

1. Your anger/frustration issue.

You gotta get that under control. Im not an ex-marine, but I am ex-military and I remember the days that that status seemed to put some extra pressure on you to just crush people in the ground when they crossed you. Im reminded of that movie with the wrestler in it in which he said "Ive come to kick butt and chew bubble gum, and Im ALLLLLL out of bubble gum".

Seriously dude, this is not the answer to life. Take a step away from this. Just think of the impact on your life all the way around, legally and personally and the consequeces from school to say the least.

2. The distance between you and your girl

Look guy, if she is ignoring you in the way she is, then either she has no respect for you, herself, doesnt care for the relationship anymore or maybe all those. So now you have to ask yourself, is anything you do gonna change that? Second part to that question is how did you get there. Is there something missing from the relationship, something that she is looking for that you have not provided (emotionally, or whatever, minds outta the gutter folks). And dont be ashamed or embarassed to say there has been something she is looking for that you have not given, whatever it is. It happens, its part of the relationship process. Its nothing bad on you, its just the process of growing and adapting and learning.

3. The weakness in your relationship

This goes along with the above but the fact this is taking place is a clear sign there is a weakness in the relationship either from you or her or both, its irrelevant. And again, you have to ask yourself and her for that matter, is it something that is repairable and if so will she give you the time to do so. None of this is putting you down, its just a fact of life and relationships. These things happen, Ive had to address them when I was dating my wife and since we've been married its just part of it.

One book I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend be read by anyone considering marriage and is useful in any relationship is one call The Five Languages of Love. Truly a revolutionary book when it comes to relationships.

Overall you need to step back and calm down. This is an extremely difficult time for you and will be trying and frustrating as you already know. You also need to ask yourself would you be reacting in this manner if the relationship had just grown apart and you two just were no longer interested in each other. I suspect you are like most guys and having a territorial response which is fine, but it becomes a serious matter if you act upon any of the things you have mentioned.

She is obviously playing a different double dutch game than you are and the question is who is interrupting whose rhythm? Better yet, were you two ever in the same double dutch game and on the same rhythm or were you both just skipping rope by yourselves and someone else has just come along and tangled up the show?

I mean no disrespect to you or her, but I have learned over the course of my life the more willing you are to be introspective and willing to face yourself and ask the hard questions of yourself and be honest about it, the better things go. It adds a new perspective and it often leads to better more sensable solutions.

[ryangtp89]

^^^Verry well put

[2000GTP]

yea very well put ^ synthetic shield is now the Dr. Phil of gpf

[BADAZGTP]

Very good info DR. Scotty. I would also have to recommend the movie FireProof to anyone that hasn't watched it. My marriage is awsome, but after watching it, I was like yu know there are some things I can improve on. Believe it or not, the story is similar to what you are going through. Check it out man and you two watch it together.

[FoSHO99]

Dr. Scotty's right, there's something in the relationship thats not what it was before. She might just be looking for something new in the relationship and this guy worked before. Thats not saying she wants a new relationship and to forget you, because obviously she hasn't hid this from you, maybe she just needs something more from you or in her life.

If I was closer to ya I'd get a crew together to approach the guy and at leat break his cell phone so you can have some time with her. If you put him in the hospital she'll be on that ****, girls always want to fix things or help people out that are hurt.

It's easy to be that advice guy because a girl will always approach you when she's the weakest and you can make yourself out to be the best guy in the world and they'll look up to you. And its easy to like the girl because you don't hear the other side of the story or have to put up with her **** yet.

Whatever you do, dont kick the guys ass yourself, chances are you'll grow more distance between her if you do. You need to have a sit down with her and let her know whats on your mind and that you will and can leave her if needs to be. Hopefully she doesn't call your bluff and stops talking to the doosher.

[Warhellride]

Did you consider that you may be driving her farther away from you (and closer to him) with your actions? Snatching her phone away and threatening her friends shows that you neither trust nor respect her. She'll need someone to talk to after these episodes, and he'll be right there waiting for her.

[evol207girl]

I was thinking about this and this is kind of a long stretch but did you ever think to just ignore it? Some girls just wanna know that their guys are there to back them up and they need to know they're wanted. I've seen this too many times. Girls do stupid stuff and talk to guys just to get a reaction out of their boyfriends. Just a thought but maybe if you ignore it she'll quit. Or just explain to her that you do care and you want to be with her but this has to stop. It's kinda risky tho cuz it could backfire. Just a thought tho

[GAFF]

I would love to put in my input but I feel since im only 16 and been in a realtionship now for a year with my girl it wouldn't help much. I do relate to a lot of the problems you are having though. I've had the same problems and I just kept telling her that I want her to stop talking to a certain guy. Then out of no where she came to me and told me she was through with talking to other guys cause she only wants to be with me and that no other guy means anything to her and she doesn't want to lose me.

I'm a pretty big kid at my highschool (6'5) and the other kid was a little scrawny guy about 5'9. He thinks he is the biggest bada** at the school and can say and do what ever he wants. He use to text my girl everyday and she would text back always. That use to piss me off so much I just wouldn't talk to her cause, well not to be cocky or anything but all the girls at my school love me, so I would talk to them. This went on for about the first month in our realtionship so I sat down and talked with her and told her that if she doesn't change the way she goes about talking to guys then I will simpily just leave her. I told her were in highschool I don't want to be dealing with this during basketball and being pissed off at you. The next day is when she came up to me and said she'd stop.

We've now been together for almost a year.(about 17 more days) I've learned to just ignore her talking to other guys. We went on a couple single day breaks (which are pointless) because I got mad and said the wrong thing. Always think before you speak. We haven't had any problems in the last, well, 5 months and ever since I started to ignore her talking to other guys she suddenly just stopped completely. So you could easily just try and ignore it for a week or so and she how that goes.

Another thing is try and spend as much time with her as you can. I know that the more time you two have together while you aren't fighting the happier you two will be. If everytime you spend time with her she is on her phone with the guy take her out to do something where she can't carry her phone with her and text the whole time. Show her how much fun she can have with you while not talking to the other guy or even thinking about the other guy. For me everyday me and my girl walk to all our classes together. As soon as I get done with practice and she is done with soccer we hang out every night.

So all sumed up just try and ignore it and spend as much time with her as you can. I know it helped out my relationship but yet im just only 16.

[GTX]

you should tell her you dont appreciate what she's doing if it really bothers you, or you have some already apparent trust issues with her or from past females. if she doesnt respect you on how you feel walk away from her it will only get worse.

my advice though, tell her whats up and if she doesnt agree lose her and find somebody that will respect you 100% she is out there so why settle for some B.

sounds like your jealous for some reason, she is with you. can you prove she is up to no good?

the guy in question is damn near every guy i know. dudes are always going to try and get at your girl no matter what get used to it and dont hate him for it, shes the one responding or texting him..... your chick doesnt respect you so drop her before you get your feelings hurt. its only chick, more of them here on the planet the guys so i say find 2-3 girls that make you happy and when the time is good, pick one.

you might think my mentality is wrong, but im telling you as an older wiser man that has seen and lived through all the high school stuff and female drama. when you almost ignore them or dont show any sign of weakness they want you more.. seriously i have 3 chicks right now, no relationship drama its all fun no worries, no problems.

next time your chick gets on the line with dude, dont trip just walk away. dont sit there, just walk away dont say nothing, just walk away pretend that what she does doesnt matter and she will see that.. chicks love a challenge. your being to easy. step your game up

[vailskier3]

forget chicks, i have a grand prix