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01-02-2008
Heh, I am putting this here! I recieved this email earlier and just HAD to pass this along!
A winter statistic
98% OF AMERICANS SAY 'OH ****' BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON
A SLIPPERY ROAD...........
THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM MISSOURI
AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS.'
LOL I had to hehehe
01-02-2008
hahaha good one...
1- A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie ?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!
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2-Little Davie watched,fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why d o you do that, mommy?" he asked."To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Davie . "Giving up?"
01-02-2008
^^...or from Arkansas.lol, you have no idea how sadly true that s around here... some of these peoples last words were..."Hey fellers, watch this...!"
So these 3 tapeworms are sitting around talking, havin a good time, when the topic of future plans came up. One of the tapeworms says, well pretty soon im gonna work my way to the heart" and another one says "well i think ill go to the small intestine." The last one thinks about it for a second and says, "well, i dunno about you guuys but im catchin the 4:15 outta here"
Last edited by Quicksilver_GP; 01-02-2008 at 09:43 PM.
01-02-2008
Let me be the first to take a stab at this...
they are from Arkansas.....lol J/K
01-02-2008
Hah
01-02-2008
Why you pickin' on Missouri, eh?
01-02-2008
I did exactly this tonight as the idiot in front of me stopped short to make a left turn in the middle of nowhere...98% OF AMERICANS SAY 'OH ****' BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON
A SLIPPERY ROAD...........
01-02-2008
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.
----------------------------------------------------------
what's the difference between 365 condoms and a tire?
one's a good year, the other's a great year
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A man comes home from work one night. He finds his wife with her coat on, and her bags packed. He says," Where the hell do you think you're going??" She says" I hear in Vegas, you can get $400 a blowjob." I might as well make money off what I give you for free.He thinks about this for a minute or two. Then says,"I'll be right back." He comes back 5 min later with his bags packed. She says" Where the hell do you think you're going??." I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde
woman wave at him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows
her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my
kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says,
"My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's
math teacher."
_____________
01-02-2008
Enjoy the jokes but consider this the friendly "Keep it Clean" reminder
01-02-2008
lol, but Tyro....some jokes are REAL borderline, sometimes the "dirty" is what makes it funny. But no arguments here, understand where youre comin from
01-02-2008
ouch Dave, ouch
01-02-2008
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by. "Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
01-02-2008
I like the filter being used, I didnt think about it and just copy and pasted what was sent to me and then read it with the **** .... Use your imagination, sometimes its more funEnjoy the jokes but consider this the friendly "Keep it Clean" reminderSorry MO guys, dont shoot the messenger lol I just had to share this one! I can see Alex saying this hehe
01-03-2008
A preist, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into bar.... and that's just the first guy.
01-03-2008
LMAO! Nice
01-03-2008
The can of worms has been opened.
01-03-2008
Its about time you jumped in Lee!!! Now that the can is open did you grab some spoons?
01-04-2008
nah I'm not much of a jokester.Originally Posted by Trannyman95
Its about time you jumped in Lee!!! Now that the can is open did you grab some spoons?
Last edited by IndeedSS; 01-04-2008 at 09:51 AM.
01-04-2008
Lucky night at the bar.
A guy had an interesting experience recently involving an "older"
woman he met at a bar.
She looked pretty darn HOT for 62. She was drinking quite a bit and,
while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he'd ever had a "sportsman's doubl" - a mother and daughter threesome.
He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it. So she slams back one last drink, wipes her mouth and, looking directly into his eyes, says, "Tonight's your lucky night."
So they go back to her place, she clicks on the hall light right as they enter her place, and she shouts upstairs:
"Mom! You still awake?"
01-04-2008
thats great.LOL
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