Finally got it scanned. Seems like the BCM is completely not responding. Got a code:
p1573C - Loss of Electronic Brake Traction Control Module serial data.
On another note, the alarm is functional again it seems. Shop guy performed some crazy button combination on it and it reset.
Still fails to remote start, they think its a bad wire.
No change in any of the crazy light blinking/flashing tho. Locks still go off five times after shifting into drive. TCS ABS LOW TRAC still cycle thru every startup. DIC flashes 0.0 anytime I turn my headlights on.
My goto mechanic said bad BCM was the tipping point for him to sell his early 2000's suburban. That thought is sticking with me lol.... cause what's next? the PCM ?... uhg.
