Clean the throttle body for the starting problems, I bet it's just caked with black crap from the EGR and causing you problems. It's a very very common issue.
The gas filling up problem sounds like the vent for the gas tank is no longer working, it is not allowing fuel vapor and air out of the tank when you pump fuel inside. The actual code number the check engine light gas will tell you what might be the problem.
Past that I'd do spark plugs and wires, clean the MAF sensor and see how it runs afterwards.
