Ok, so last weekend I ran a diagnostics tool on the car and got a DTC code of B2955 "Key code input is short to battery". So I was gonna go in behind the kick panel and check the wiring and also consider replacing some stuff, but this week I was just fiddling around and I RANDOMLY found the WEIRDEST solution to my problem: If I put in the key, turn to run, and while the security light is blinking I CUP MY HAND around the key and the ignition, the light stops blinking and the car starts fine. I have NO CLUE why that would fix it. But it does. It has worked instantly and I have been able to start the car as normal every single time this week. So for now, I'm not gonna go tearing the car apart, but search me as to why on EARTH this fixes it.
To anyone else who may have this issue and has found this thread: I would be SUPER interested in knowing what this technique does for you. Impala and BigBoost, thanks for the suggestions though!
