Yep, I inspected all of the valves. They are the dark colored hardened valves and showed no wear at all. I used the side fine pic to try to wiggle each valve in it's bore and found zero play in every valve. I didn't replace the harness, but none of the clips broke and the harness tested fine. I tested the old solenoids by using the harness and a 12v power supply to make sure the entire circuit was good. Even though all of the solenoids clicked, I replaced them all.
In any event, I think this thing is intentionally trying to p*** me off. I got up this morning, reset the code and drove the crap out of it all over the county. My intention was to note every single thing it did/under what circumstances. I took the most punishing roads I could think of (since I live in West Virginia there's plenty to choose from). I used hilly roads, curvy roads and even went out on the interstate and cranked it up to 75mph. Brought it home via the steep hill. Not a single problem. No slipping, no TCC stuck on, no mis-shifting. It ran like it was new out of the box. Parked it and checked the fluid level, perfect.
I don't know what to think now.
