Starting to wonder here...

swapped crank sensor, no change
Swapped ICM and coils, no change
swapped pcm, no change
swapped trans, no change
ran with maf unhooked, no change (maybe slightly more pissy, tough call)

Looks like I have map, cam and tps sensors left.

I told the car if it kept this crap up...I was going to disassemble it.