I work on aircraft that cost several hundred million dollars each. We definitely don't use Matco. We use Snap-on (even their tool boxes, which can take a Yuke running over them, aka a 50,000lb tow truck), and we use Craftsman. Last I checked, all of my personal Craftsman tools also have a lifetime warranty, as do my Kobalts which are made by Snap-on.
Bring some of that my way. I'll be happy to show you 12s with just a tune. How's a 4.2s 0-60 sound? And if you don't think that's enough then I can happily introduce you to a few friends who are running low 11s on street tires.
And, like Planeboy's suggestion, we could do it on a road course. I'm pretty confident most of the GPs here would be able to take on a top heavy barge like a Ford truck. Straight lines are boring. Go balls to the wall around a turn and see how much you're talking then.
As has been proven if you look around the forum, there are plenty of people here who obviously would know more about an engine than you, and they aren't a tool about it. I'll let you in on a secret. Being a dealership mechanic isn't any cred at all. No one respects them, and they know they aren't exactly the smartest people in the world (though, I figured most could spell "competitor" and "warranty", but I guess not). That's why working on a car is a hobby, since anyone can do it if they can pick up a wrench and follow step by step instructions.