Good news everyone! It was a matter of cheap junk OBD2 reader. So if you're having troubles with your OBD2 reader not connecting, the cheap 2 dollar eBay readers do NOT support all protocols. Get a highly rated one off Amazon instead with good feedback and support! I bought the Veepeak one and it 100% works.
Now I just need to figure out the DIC... Does anyone with aftermarket radio have a working DIC?

So now for the first time I can read some codes, which I'll make threads about later on....