I had my buddy drop by to give me a boost but no luck.
I'm leaning towards a problem with the battery cables since all the electronics and lights work until I turn the crank. The car completely dies and my key gets stuck in the ignition. I can revive the car by fiddling with the negative battery terminal (lights will turn back on and I can move the ignition to the right position whereupon I can remove the key)
I am thinking about simply replacing the battery, but if the problem lies in the cables themselve that would do me no good. I'd rather get this fixed before the long weekend so I think i'll just bite the bullet and have her towed to the mechanic and he can fix her.