Thanks. I do what I can to pass on what I have learned onto others.
First off stay away from the drive through car washes. The brushes will scratch and swirl up your paint. If anything use a touchless.
This is not a dumb question. This is actually a great question. My recommendation is to invest in a good car wash soap. There are a lot on the market that work very well. My two favorite car washes are Meguiar's D110 Hyperwash from their detailer line and Adams Car Shampoo (the blue version). The reason for that is that is that for me personally I like a soap that leaves no gloss enhancers or wax behind. The wax within a soap is not that durable but I don't like to disturb whatever protection I have on the car.
Meguiar's Hyperwash is the most economical of the bunch. It's dilution ratio is 400:1. That comes out to 1.5 oz's in 4 gallons of water. Adams Shampoo dilution is pretty darn close to that.
If I was to pick up a soap locally I would recommend Meguiar's Gold Class. It cleans well and offers good lubricity.
The wash media is just as important as the soap. Cheap wash media will scratch the paint. One of my favorites is the Meguiar's microfiber wash mitt. It's soft and it won't scratch the paint. I recommend to wash it after each wash to keep it clean. They are only about $5 and work very well.
The number one thing is to follow proper wash techniques. Do that and you will protect your hard work until you are ready to reapply a fresh coat or polish once again. Swirls are still going to happen but by practicing proper wash techniques you will limit the number of them that appear on the paint.
This is one of my favorite references on how to properly wash a car.