The car is a 2005 Base model if anyone wanted to know, I looked at his profile.
This grinding type sound you are hearing kinda has me stumped, but as for the "impact" feel that is somewhat normal. You are suppose to be able feel it a little bit when you go between the gears. I know I can always feel it when I go into reverse, then from R to Drive. You get that small push type feel as it grabs the gear with your foot on the brake. Seems to grab harder in reverse when really cold because the fluid is not warm.