Birds and their clean car vendetta

[FordMan77]

I'd like to extend a nice FU to the apparent mass of birds with diarrhea in my area today. I spent over 3 hours washing and waxing my black 95 Bonne last weekend so I could get a coat of wax on using the remaining bit of the nice weather before winter hits and she was shining once again. Had to leave her parked today since I had to replace yet another master cylinder and hadn't bled the brakes yet. No problem, right?

Apparently it IS a problem for the birds out here as they managed to cover every body panel and piece of glass in sh*t during the 8 hours I was at work today. Thanks f&ckers. I'm so happy that I was able to create a nice clean place "for you to poop on". Since the trees are bare now, the fields around here have all been harvested and it's cold I see no reason why there would be so many of you hanging around. Aren't you supposed to be heading south by now? You must be related to the inbred f*ckers that couldn't stay in their own lane today on the local highway on my way to work.

Next time I get it cleaned up I'll be sure to be sitting outside with my .410 loaded and waiting as it seems you have a low lead diet. Maybe after I leave a few of your carcases laying around you'll get the hint and leave my cars alone. Why don't you fly down the road and crap all over the POS Dodge truck with the 5" stacks sticking out of the bed behind the cab. I'm sure he wouldn't mind and it would help add to the "camo" look that he's going for.

[Explicit_Spade]

Someone is probably feeding them. Find the food and poison it, then find the person who was putting food out and....

Edit: Handle the person throwing food as best allowed by law.

[Jomamma]

Lol. In the birds defense, they can't control when or where they ****. They just ****. And as often as possible too, they gotta stay light.

[FordMan77]

They won't stay light for long if I catch them doing it again. This looked like an organized attack, lol... I've seen cars that park under trees in the city that look like this but that's usually only during the summer. In the 10 years I've lived here I've never had any of my cars done up this badly.

I think Spade is right, someone around here must be feeding them. I might just take a leisurely walk down the road a bit and see if I notice any food or feeders out then go from there. It gets nice and dark out here in the country at night so if something would happen to go missing, well....

[REDCRAPGP]

Quick detail spray + a few microfiber towels in your trunk = lifesaver.


Keep your damn birds before they come ****ting all over my things.
Sincerely my cars

[2007GPGTSC]

I was running rc's last year and got sh** on by a bird would much have rather had it land on my car than my leg.... bastards....