Was the title of the e-mail I received from the WBS email address which reads:
Hey you, yeah you... The one with the eyes and the mouth. That\'s right. You\'re receiving this email because at some point in your life you signed up on our website and told us you\'d like to be kept up to date on the comings and goings at W Body Store.
Sadly, not much exciting has happened but alas, we finally have exciting news to share. We\'ll keep it brief; I promise.
NEW WEBSITE
Has our website frustrated you to the point you wanted to stab our eyes out? Sure it has! It\'s horrible. It forgets passwords and then when you reset your password it doesn\'t like to tell you what the new one is. Then there\'s the times you check out, enter all your order details, click submit and are just brought back to the payment information page, wondering if we actually got your order. It\'s like a horrible practical joke. We\'re sorry.
So we spent 6 months setting up a completely new website and it\'s awesome. No really, it is awesome, right down to the cool graphical thing that happens when you add something to your cart. That\'s not exactly a technical explanation so jump on over to the site and check it out for yourself. It\'s still W Body Store
Your old account information will not work on the new site so prepare to sign back up.
SHIP TIMES
Ok, we\'re the first to acknowledge that our ship times used to be lacking but guess what... Over the past 3 years our average ship time has been reduced from 3 days to 24 hours and that applies to about 95% of our orders. That means if you order something today there\'s a 95% chance it will ship within 24 hours and if your order is over $50 that shipping didn\'t cost you anything either!
LOWER PRICES
This is simple. Go on over to our competition. You know who they are. Check our prices versus their prices and don\'t forget to consider that we have free shipping on top of being cheaper on most products. Did you check? Well did you? You did? Awesome! Now you know what we\'re talking about!
FREE SHIPPING!
Spend over $50 in one order and your shipping is free. Applies only to continental US ground shipping and excludes items that ship via freight. What, you didn\'t expect us to send your transmission to Guam for free did you? Well did you? No, you\'re not crazy and you\'re also not in Guam (probably) so you don\'t care.
And that\'s it! If you haven\'t tried us in a while please give it another go. We\'d love to earn your business. Maybe you just have a question about your car or a part and don\'t need to buy anything right now. We can help with that too!
\"Why am I getting this email about your company? - Well at some point you signed up for an account on our website and selected to subscribe to our newsletter. If you don\'t want to receive any other promotional emails from us don\'t worry, you probably won\'t. This is the first we\'ve sent out in 4 years. If you DO want to continue to receive promotional emails from us make sure you sign up on our new site and select to subscribe to newsletters.
And that\'s it! If you got this far it\'s because you\'re profoundly bored and we\'re happy to have distracted you for a few minutes!
PS: Sorry for all the misplaced backslashes in this email. It\'s one of the many things wrong with this old site. Speaking of which, we\'re going to take this bad boy out into the backyard and put it down like Old Yeller.